Keep on fighting

3rd of June 2012 - 21:20

Ok so the past few months have been disastrous in the Parkinson household. My great uncle is extremely ill at the moment. He has always been such a healthy and vibrant man with a story to tell and a laugh to share yet he is deteriorating dramatically. At first it was just a bug with sickness and tiredness but it then progressed to non stop vomiting and a rush to hospital. They ran a few tests and said it was a stomach ulcer and an infection that could be treated and would hopefully calm down. A few days later and the medication isn’t working, the sickness is worse and now he is becoming a violent man. He lashes out and makes cruel remarks at his beloved wife and my beloved great aunt. He starts to forget things and make up stories such as telling the hospital nurses that he used to play for Barcelona. He is rushed back and fourth from hospital to home. A recent scan has shown a dark shadow located on his brain and a biopsy has been taken. The results have confirmed a cancerous tumor that is progressing violently. He is turning into a vegetable and cannot do anything for himself, including eating, drinking or even going to the toilet. The once bubbly, cheery and humble man is disappearing and the horrible reality is that he doesn’t have that much longer left. His wife is going to lose yet another important man in her life. Her brother and my wonderful Grandad died nearly 8 years ago from bowel cancer and now she is going to lose the man she has been in love with for 40 years. The world is a cruel cruel place and I hope that I can stop counting all the special men in my life that I am losing, the list is growing and multiplying ever so quickly. My grans new partner Steve who she has now been with for about 4 or 5 years is also very sick with lung cancer. He has lost 2 stone in a few months and is still currently losing weight. He has 2 more sessions of chemo left and the provided steroids are helping slightly to improve his condition even if only temporary. The clothes hang off his body and each bone is so vivid its sickening. He is resound to a chair or bed most days and most tasks require every ounce of strength he has in him. He tries to cut the grass once a week but sits down 3 or 4 times during the process, causing him to pant and lose his breath often. My gran has been through this once already and managed to find another man that makes her extremely happy, something that I know my Grandad would of course want so why is she losing him aswell. How can she face this ordeal all over again and lose the person that she has learnt to trust like she had my Grandad for 50 years of marriage. It is heartbreaking and all I can do is sit, watch and hold her hand. She will have me and the rest of the family but its not the same. She wont have someone to lie with in bed at night and cuddle. She wont have someone to pass her the remote if she cannot reach it. She wont have someone to drive the boat they own in Norfolk. I dont want her to be alone. Alongside this I have grown to love Steve as if he were my Grandad and I do see him as an important figure in my life. He deserves to live and carry on making my gran as happy and she makes him. My thoughts are also with my other great Uncle Alan who is very ill with cancer and is dying as we speak. His cancer has progressed very rapidly and within a few months I think ill be attending a very sad occasion. 

To the 3 of you men who I value so much in my 16 years of life, try to hold on tightly to the time you have left and keep on fighting this cancer battle. I know you are all so strong and my thoughts are with you every single minute of the day. I want you to see me grow and I want you to carry on alongside our wonderful families.